So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
