I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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