sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
we're so committed to being not committed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
