I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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