so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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