i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Non-Jews are for practice
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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