fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
