it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
