He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
