Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
