do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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