Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
