I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My bed smells like the plague
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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