I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
