That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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