Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
