shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize