I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
