Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
