I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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