She is in my trunk
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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