At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
