This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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