she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize