did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
