he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now