Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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