I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
