RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
