I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
