yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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