i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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