; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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