someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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