In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
