it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize