Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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