Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..