Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money http://tfl.nu/z7es
  Replies (16) Good night (2284) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Did you see that girl I got with last night?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Did you see that girl I got with last night? (1-541): Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay.. http://tfl.nu/om6e
  Replies (13) Good night (1004) Bad night (3829)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me. http://tfl.nu/6ugc
  Replies (15) Good night (726) Bad night (2137)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom. http://tfl.nu/0mx3
  Replies (28) Good night (4847) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall http://tfl.nu/krc7
  Replies (43) Good night (11650) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think i scared a bird with my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i think i scared a bird with my dick http://tfl.nu/1tdx
  Replies (20) Good night (4593) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it http://tfl.nu/wltj
  Replies (6) Good night (2747) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer http://tfl.nu/lzgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1693) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy. http://tfl.nu/05b3
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate. http://tfl.nu/dyap
  Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy
  Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award. http://tfl.nu/kz36
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career http://tfl.nu/vwhr
  Replies (8) Good night (322) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source http://tfl.nu/1syu
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America. http://tfl.nu/5o5p
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (267)

Randomize