I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi