and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.