Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke

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  (515): sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke http://tfl.nu/6ss8
  Replies (16) Good night (3220) Bad night (1036)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

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  (269): im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower http://tfl.nu/s38n
  Replies (15) Good night (3163) Bad night (823)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.

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  (910): Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically. http://tfl.nu/2hl3
  Replies (33) Good night (4231) Bad night (1024)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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  (806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l
  Replies (8) Good night (2081) Bad night (3317)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.

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  (404): I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play. http://tfl.nu/jglo
  Replies (11) Good night (1158) Bad night (4231)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.

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  (704): all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back. http://tfl.nu/s19b
  Replies (9) Good night (3641) Bad night (1034)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.

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  (314): Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly. http://tfl.nu/f0vi
  Replies (10) Good night (2549) Bad night (999)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.

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  (518): I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it. http://tfl.nu/z92x
  Replies (8) Good night (2499) Bad night (616)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus

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  (248): My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus http://tfl.nu/w26d
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (972)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.

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  (330): Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything. (330): She kept telling me it was a squirtgun. http://tfl.nu/3tf4
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (1212)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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  (647): You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics http://tfl.nu/qir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1072) Bad night (466)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night

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  (401): I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/cz9o
  Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (571)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.

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  (+44): I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten. http://tfl.nu/hxkk
  Replies (1) Good night (1387) Bad night (559)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.

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  (203): In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window. http://tfl.nu/vk8f
  Replies (6) Good night (615) Bad night (1174)
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  (716): View more from New York

  As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"

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  (716): As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on" http://tfl.nu/an67
  Replies (5) Good night (479) Bad night (767)

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