How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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