youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
