I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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