i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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