just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
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We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
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I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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