y did u give ur computer a hand job?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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