i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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