also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
