wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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