Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize