He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
