If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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