Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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