you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
