yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
