when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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