then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
