I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize