After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father