piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.