i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
