If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
